Of Sadists and Public Humiliation
by Aeneid
Summary: A public confession wasn't something you see everyday. Response fic to the OkiKagu challenge.


This fic was written because the Japanese OkiKagu doujinshi-ka had this topic going on on Twitter wherein the challenge was to, "... either write an original novel or draw an original comic where Okita and/or Kagura will do a public confession of their feelings to one another."

This is the result of that challenge. I've tried on a different writing style, so I hope it's okay and will suffice.

Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

* * *

Of Sadists and Public Humiliation

* * *

One cool morning in spring, there had been hundreds of sheets of paper that littered the streets of Edo, particularly in the compound of the Shinsengumi, the police force that upheld public order. Edo citizens had assumed that it was a public declaration of war against the police, as the compound was more littered with white sheets of paper than the other districts. Upon closer inspection of the contents of the letter, eyebrows were raised, and tongues began to wag.

_To the First Division Captain of the Shinsengumi, Okita Sougo-sama—_

Normally, this was enough to raise an eyebrow, as it was well known that the sadistic policeman _did_ have fans, but none had ever dared to be blunt about their feelings for him, as they knew that he was not the type to be interested.

Besides, it was rumored that he had a special someone in the form of a certain female Yato, but no one was really sure as to the extent of their relationship, as no one, as always, would dare ask them regarding that.

They'd like to keep their limbs intact and their bodies free from bullet holes, thank you very much.

_The best thing I've ever done to you was hit you in the face during the _hanami_ special. As usual, you were pathetic._

_The second time I saw you was in that festival. Too bad it got interrupted, 'cause I would've totally beaten your ass again._

_The third time it happened, you punched me in the face. You shouldn't hit girls, you know, unless you want some people to suddenly start getting ideas like you proposing marriage to me just 'cause some other guy punched a headless woman's helmet away because 'he kissed her to celebrate their marriage'._

_The fourth time was when I jokingly remarked that you probably liked me, and everyone just started getting the wrong idea._

_Well, waddya know. They were right._

_I _do_ like you._

If the main body of the letter did not raise an eyebrow, the signature of the person who wrote it was enough to make the readers of the letter wonder if this was the truth or if it was one huge joke. Immediately, they checked their calendars, and the moment they found out that it wasn't April Fools' Day, they looked up at the sky to see if pigs started flying already. When there was no pig in the sky, that was when everyone started talking.

How was it possible that it was the Yorozuya girl who wrote the whole thing and signed her name on it?!

Didn't _she_ claim to hate his guts?!

What was going on?!

* * *

To say that Yamazaki Sagaru had been surprised at the appearance of the sheets of paper that declared China-san's love to the captain was an understatement.

He was _scared_.

So _scared_ that he got dressed in a white _yukata_, got a _gohei_ [1] and began waving it frantically at the direction of the First Division Captain, who was smirking to himself as he watched the Shinsengumi members clean up the litter in the training grounds. He was sitting by the raised wooden platform, smirking all the while, and would occasionally chuckle, which was enough to scare Yamazaki, as this was a very un-Okita trait.

"Oi Yamazaki, why the hell are you dressed like that?"

Hijikata Toushirou had passed by the hallway and had noticed him waving around the purification item. "The hell? Is the compound cursed again?"

"N-n-no! O-Okita-san's been acting strange, he's laughing and— I-I think he's possessed!"

Hijikata sighed at this, unable to get over the fact that the guy who had been wanting to kill him was _giddy_ over a public confession done by his rival. He suspected that it might have been a prank, a well-orchestrated one at that, but seeing Sougo grin like some lovesick school boy was enough to make him hurl his breakfast right then and there.

_China girl outdid herself this time._

"Sougo, you _do_ know that it's a joke." Just thinking about China girl in love with the sadistic captain was enough to make him vomit, as the two children just _loved_ to duke it out and destroy Edo in the process.

Okita turned his head to face Hijikata and smirked. "I'm not that stupid, Hijikata-san. Obviously, I know it's a joke, 'cause I was the one who forced her to write a confession to me and to make it public."

"… And why did you have her do that?" he might have looked cool on the outside, but he, the demonic vice-captain of the Shinsengumi, was deadly afraid of the scenario where Sougo was _in love_ with her, and had forced her to write a confession just to satisfy his ego.

"Obviously, Hijikata-san, public humiliation." The sandy-haired young man said with his usual poker-faced expression, though the chain smoker could hear excitement and _happiness_ in his tone.

Hijikata tried to hold in the vomit. "… If that's the case, did you hope for China to lock herself up in the Yorozuya?" at his nod, he continued. "… She just passed by the gate of the compound and she didn't even flinch at the sight of people staring at her."

At this, Okita suddenly stood up and made a wild dash towards the gate, even managing to put on his shoes in five seconds flat just to rush after the female Amanto. At this, Hijikata called for Yamazaki to follow the First Division Captain, just in case something insane happens once he manages to catch up to her. Frankly, he's torn between amusement and exasperation over the younger man's denial regarding the purpose of the letter writing, as Hijikata knew that he saw her more than a rival.

In any case, he knew that things might turn for the worse, and with that, he left the compound as well to follow Sougo.

He hoped that Edo would still be in one piece before the day ends.

* * *

Kagura ignored the stares, knowing that the letters that had been dispatched hours ago had reached the whole of Edo.

Personally, she really didn't care if anyone, from the Shogun down to the townspeople, read the whole thing and would use it as their topic opener for today, or for the months to come, as it was easy to ignore them. As long as Gin-chan and Shinpachi don't start teasing her, she would be okay. They knew of her dilemma (but not of her true feelings regarding the matter), they knew what she had to do, and both of them had been mature about it.

"Kagura-chan, don't worry about it too much. Everyone will forget it by next week." Shinpachi told her.

"You can always run to space and stay there for the meantime until this mess dies down." Gin-chan said, even promising to ask Sakamoto Tatsuma if he was willing to take her in for the meantime in his ship.

This was one of the rare times wherein she was thankful to her two 'dads' for being supportive.

"Oi China." Came out a voice, and she knew immediately who it was. The lazy drawl, the arrogant tone, and the hint of victory was evident, and she turned around to face him, donning on the best poker-faced expression that she could do, which she had copied from Gintoki. Four years of living with him, and she was able to execute all of his mannerisms perfectly.

"What, sadist?" she asked, looking at him straight in the eye.

_Calm down, Kagura. It's just him._

Seeing the two of them _talk_ in public was enough to make all the townspeople in the park stop whatever it was that they were doing so they could discreetly see the drama unfold before their eyes. Their relationship was, after all, the talk of the town, and was better than any of those soap operas they've watched.

It was like watching a reality TV show without any script to guide the two, which would mean everything that would be acted out was spontaneous and real.

Everyone held their breaths as they saw the Shinsengumi captain walk towards her, a smirk tugging his lips. Hell, even Yamazaki and Hijikata, who were standing a few feet away, were waiting with bated breaths on how Sougo would respond.

"So I've read this _interesting_ letter addressed to me this morning." He said tauntingly, his blood-red eyes gleaming with malice.

"Uh-huh." At this, Kagura began picking her nose with her right pinky, her left hand holding up her umbrella.

"And it's from _you_." He continued, walking up further to the female Amanto, staring down at her.

Meanwhile, a few feet away, Hijikata was trying his best not to smack his palm against his forehead from the stupidity he was witnessing. Sougo was stating the obvious, China girl looked bored at his poor attempt to embarrass her, and while the townspeople looked like they were hyperventilating at the sight of the two _talking_ (he wondered why they were getting excited over something so simple), he couldn't help but anticipate their next move.

"My, my. Since when did you learn how to write, China? You've written all the kanji correctly."

"Shinpachi taught me. Nothing new." She shrugged. "Anything else?"

"One thing that _puzzles_ me…" He said, emphasizing on 'puzzles'. "… is that you've written a love letter, and it's addressed to _me_."

Yamazaki, to Hijikata's embarrassment, had actually gasped out loud in surprise, among others.

The vice-captain now began wondering with what was wrong with him, since it seemed like he was the only one unaffected by this live action drama, while everyone around him were rather expressive over the dialogue they were hearing.

At Kagura's raised eyebrows, Okita Sougo decided to go with the final blow.

"So, China girl, you like me, don't you?" the tone in which he has said it was so menacing, so loud (everyone within ten feet heard it), and so reassured that it was arrogance to the highest level possible, if there was even such a thing. A jerk to the very end, the sadist looked so proud of himself as he gloated at the female before him.

"… And what if I do?" she shot back.

This time around, no one bothered becoming discreet anymore and just gasped out loud right then and there.

A plot twist had occurred, everyone was caught off-guard, and most of all…

Okita Sougo suddenly looked so embarrassed and surprised that his handsome face was slowly turning pink.

"W-w-w-w-w—"

"Yes, I have romantic feelings you, I wrote you a letter because I lost the bet, and at the same time, I knew that sooner or later, I had to confess." She shrugged. "I killed two birds with one stone, thanks to your sadistic tendency in wanting to inflict public humiliation. Too bad for you, your plan to do so backfired."

"B-b-b-b-b—"

"I mean, why should I be ashamed of it? If the whole of Edo knew, that's fine. It's not like I'm aiming for a guy who is married." She laughed, though it sounded forced.

"Anyway, I'm off. See ya whenever, you stupid sadist."

Hijikata heard people groan at the sight of her walking past the still stunned sadist, her face slightly looking crest-fallen, but her chin was still up.

"Wait."

Just like a totally clichéd soap opera, Sougo had turned around, grabbed her, and held her close to him. She, in turn, has squealed and had nearly dropped her umbrella to the ground. The sight of them hugging had the females smiling in glee. Yamazaki himself looked so happy while Hijikata sighed in exasperation.

"Now that's done, can we go back now?" he aimed the question at the spy.

"No way, vice-captain! This is when the best part happens!" said the younger male, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

"I sure hope so, or I'll force you to commit _seppuku_." Hijikata glared at the Shinsengumi member.

_Sougo, you'd better make this worth our while._

* * *

"W-what the hell are you doing?!" Kagura practically hissed the words in Okita Sougo's right ear, or his right shoulder in particular, as she only reached his chin. "Everyone's looking!"

"I thought you weren't ashamed of your feelings for _me_." She could practically hear the confidence in his tone.

"And your point is?" can't a girl buy her sukonbu in peace?! "Hurry up, I need to go to the store!"

"Well China, you ruined my plans—"

"What plans?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"To publicly humiliate you, of course." He said. "You'd better take responsibility for that, China."

She rolled her eyes at the absurdity of his reasoning. "And what do you want _me_ to do?"

He bent his head down to say it.

"Go out with me."

"WHAT?!" had been her immediate response, and right then and there, she retracted her umbrella and swung it to the right, barely missing him, who had jumped back. "You jerk, what are you planning now?!"

"Not the reaction I'd expect from you who has _'feelings for me'_—"

"If you've just said it because you _pity me_—"

"It's the truth, China." He replied back nonchalantly. "Or should I say… Kagura?"

If it had been an anime unfolding before them, _shoujo_ sparkles would've probably appeared in the background after the momentous first name calling that always signified the change in the relationship status of the pair. But this wasn't an anime, but a live action drama that involved the girl from Kabuki-cho and the patrolling policeman from the Shinsengumi who were publicly confessing their feelings for one another.

"… This better be not a joke." She glared at him, though her face was as red as her dress. "Or else…"

"Go out with me." He repeated in a serious tone.

She ignored what he said. "Prove to me that you do not pity me."

He sighed, shaking his head, but walked towards her once more, only to pull her again by her wrist. Enveloped by his hug, she could only bury her face against his chest in embarrassment. Her umbrella was now lying on the ground, the object now forgotten as the couple were too engrossed in their own little world.

"I like you, Kagura. Go out with me."

* * *

Epilogue:

"… Gin-san, did you see that?"

Several meters away stood the two male members of the Yorozuya, their faces a pale white after witnessing the public confession of their 'daughter' and the sadistic captain Okita Sougo, who were still lost in their world.

"Y-yeah… yeah, I did." The wavy-haired samurai still could not believe that his _daughter_ was _in love_, that her confession was _real_ (all he thought of was that it was done to humiliate her by that sadist, nothing more), and that the person she was _in love with_ was actually the person she had addressed the confession to.

"W-w-w-what do we do…?" they still bore the trauma of Kagura getting kidnapped by that "boyfriend" of hers years ago. "H-he won't kidnap her, right…?"

"He may be a sadist, but he still follows the code. If he doesn't…" at this, Sakata Gintoki's eyes grew serious. "We'll just have to force him to commit seppuku."

"Yeah, I guess…" Shinpachi still didn't look convinced. "I guess… we should just support her, huh, Gin-san?"

"As long as baldy doesn't know about this, we're safe."

If it was even possible, they had turned paler than before at the thought of her Amanto father ramming a telephone pole in the Yorozuya office.

"Y-yeah… Umibouzu-san mustn't know of this!"

_Or we'll be dead!_

* * *

Thanks for reading!

Drop me a review and tell me what you think!


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